The Assembly Rooms, Epsom  

If, as Le Corbusier says, a house is a machine for living in, then a Wetherspoon is a machine for drinking in - and the Assembly Rooms is its ultimate expression. It's big - somewhere over tennis court size - and is really rather a fine building. Inside it's recently redecorated but retains the flagstoned floor and provides a mix of stools, tables and chairs, or settees as required. The drinks? Well we're not going to list them all - you have a life outside don't you dear reader? Suffice to say whether it's real (or realish and coming up to its sell by date) beer, keg and varied fizz, ales and wines by glass, bottle or pump, lurid coloured alcopops or alcospirits and all the brand names you can think of it'll be somewhere behind that big bar. Whether its Burn's Night, Val's or St Pat's - or any other occasion - be assured there will be a themed special. And, yes, it's frighteningly cheap - as is the food. But we were truly stunned when we tried the Thursday special £5.49 "curry and a drink" to find ourselves served with a well presented, sophisticatedly spiced and thoroughly enjoyable meal complete with nan bread and an onion bhaji. And that's the problem with a successful Wetherspoon. It gives people what they want, so the shoppers, the local workers, the old and the young crowd in. So, sadly do the riffraff - and worse the extended families of grandparental alkies, chav Mums and Dads and snot-nosed brats. Still it's big enough, usually, to be able to find another seat.

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